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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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The Illustrated FML

Today, I went to a job interview at a small family-owned business. After the interview, the owner's son took me into his office and told me I'm not getting the job and to get out, because apparently, the old man thinks I'm "possessed by a demon". FML

#19652325 (80)

I agree, your life sucks (939) - you deserved it (69)

On 05/20/2012 at 3:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend and I went mini golfing with his family. We had a competition going on, and when I managed to get two consecutive holes in one, he started seething and muttered that I'm dangerously close to becoming single. FML

#19652024 (72)

I agree, your life sucks (979) - you deserved it (101)

On 05/20/2012 at 2:20pm - misc - by Jacquelinez (woman) - United States

Today, I was walking up some stairs, and I told the guy in front of me to be careful, as the handrail was loose and well-worn. I then put my hand on it, and promptly fell backwards down the stairs with a piece of handrail still in my hand. FML

#19651744 (41)

I agree, your life sucks (699) - you deserved it (246)

On 05/20/2012 at 1:11pm - misc - by taob (woman) - China (Guangxi)

Today, I spilled boiling water on my legs. A coworker told me that putting mustard on the burn would heal it. I ended up at the emergency room. When people walked by I could hear them say "it smells like hot dogs". FML

#19651204 (157)

I agree, your life sucks (4422) - you deserved it (1742)

On 05/20/2012 at 11:03am - health - by jcdc - United States (Texas)

Today, my sister got married. It was also the day that I was supposed to deliver a heartfelt toast to the happy couple. I got so nervous that I kept stuttering and finally ended with "Congrats Beth and Steve!" Her husband's name is Eric. Her ex was named Steve. FML

#19650903 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (2759) - you deserved it (1009)

On 05/20/2012 at 9:13am - misc - by shygirl - United States (Michigan)

Today, it was the first time I was going to fly first class. I ended up in the bathroom almost the whole flight with diarrhea. FML

#19650597 (63)

I agree, your life sucks (2616) - you deserved it (177)

On 05/20/2012 at 6:21am - misc - by - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my girlfriend went in for a kiss too fast and broke my front tooth. FML

#19649940 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (2796) - you deserved it (213)

On 05/20/2012 at 1:19am - misc - by slayerdeath - United States (Indiana)

Today, I tried to beat my dad to the car. I jumped over the steel cables in the parking structure and hit my head on a metal pipe, then bounced off the wires, and onto my back on the pavement. Good thing we were already at the hospital to visit my sick mother. FML

#19649582 (66)

I agree, your life sucks (942) - you deserved it (2873)

On 05/20/2012 at 12:06am - health - by Ouch (man) - United States (California)

Today, it was my birthday, and I woke up to my dad telling me that we're going to Disneyland. Apparently, by "we" he meant him and my mom. They did, however, make a point to say "happy birthday" before they left. FML

#19648886 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (4362) - you deserved it (233)

On 05/19/2012 at 10:04pm - misc - by Schubey (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said it was because my mom's lazy eye creeps him out, and that my dad hates him. She doesn't have a lazy eye, he's never met my dad, never seen my mom, and now according to his friends, he's been cheating on me for the past two weeks. FML

#19648207 (135)

I agree, your life sucks (4571) - you deserved it (303)

On 05/19/2012 at 7:20pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Sri Lanka (Western)

Today, I was about to get in the shower, when I felt an odd itch in my navel. I saw what I thought was bellybutton lint, so I pulled on it, and quickly realized what I had between my fingers was a still-squirming, headless tick. FML

#19648090 (181)

I agree, your life sucks (4544) - you deserved it (298)

On 05/19/2012 at 6:54pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my wardrobe door jammed, and I couldn't change out into some nice clothes for my date. On the way there, my car broke down. Not wanting to be late and make a bad impression, I scuttled the rest of the way, only to find I'd been stood up. FML

#19647368 (84)

I agree, your life sucks (4549) - you deserved it (313)

On 05/19/2012 at 3:50pm - misc - by cheesfactor (woman) - Bulgaria (Ruse)

Today, I thought I felt my baby kicking for the first time. After excitedly exclaiming this fact to the few people around me, I involuntarily let out the loudest fart. Not the baby kicking, just gas. FML

#19645533 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (3732) - you deserved it (690)

On 05/19/2012 at 7:05am - health - by GothicAngel17 - Australia (Queensland)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.



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